President Donald Trump held a sleepy press conference Wednesday, where he congratulated himself for showing restraint toward his perceived enemies and threatened to be a dictator—again.
“I could have done very bad things to Hillary Clinton. I could have done very, very bad things to Joe Biden. I could have done very bad things to Barack Hussein Obama,” Trump said. “And I certainly—even to this moment—I can do whatever I want, if I want.”
He added, “But I view the presidency as a very sacred position."
Trump also seemed to doze off during the meeting—something that is far from unusual for him.
And while Trump spewed plenty of bullshit throughout the press conference, very few remarks were as sublime as his never-ending consternation over his inability to get a genuine Nobel Peace Prize.
"There’s never been anybody in the history of the Nobel Prize that deserves it more,” he said. “I settled eight wars. And I’ve stopped, maybe, the total obliteration of the world because Iran will never have a nuclear weapon.”
Sure, Donald. Now let’s get you back to bed.
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