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There are many things in the universe I don’t understand, and for me, Mike Pence’s presidential hopes are right up there with quantum physics and the mysteries of the Bermuda Triangle.
I mean, this is the same Mike Pence who came within a hair’s breadth of being hanged by the MAGA mob on January 6th. This is the same guy many Republicans think is a traitor for refusing to overturn the 2020 election results.
Now, look, I’m not one to judge a person’s ambitions, but Pence’s presidential aspirations are about as plausible as finding Bigfoot riding a unicorn. It’s almost as if he’s living in an alternate universe where the events of the past few years never happened.
But let’s give Pence the benefit of the doubt and try to understand why he thinks Republicans will rally behind him. Maybe it’s his charisma that captivated the nation during his time as vice president. Oh wait, I forgot. Pence’s charisma level hovers somewhere between a beige suit and a cardboard cutout of Mitt Romney.
Or perhaps it’s his exceptional track record as a political leader that sets him apart? Just think of all the incredible accomplishments Pence brought us as Trump’s number-two man? OK, I’m waiting …. The truth is he was a total non-factor unless you consider kissing his boss’s ass for four years a great achievement!
I’m of the opinion Pence is running for president simply because God told him to (fact is, he has actually admitted to such). And being the good Christian that he is, the man is just going along with God’s plan … you know, carrying out His will. He probably believes God spared him from the gallows on January 6 because he has a higher calling for him… 47th President of the United States!
Unfortunately, the few sane people around Pence are much too kind to let the pious Republican know that when it comes to being his party’s nominee for president, he doesn’t have a prayer.
And who doesn't like being in a room alone with a woman. And who is from Indiana for god's sake. And who brought his pet fly to the VP debate. And even with the extra brain, got stomped by Kamala.
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