Thursday, September 8, 2022

ALDOUS J. PENNYFARTHING: Barack Obama just won the Emmy that forever eluded Trump. Cue his social media meltdown

You know who won an Emmy Saturday night? The former president who didn’t steal dozens of highly classified documents from the government and stash them in his desk with naught but the enervating effluvium of half-masticated McRibs to ward off enemies of the state.

Know who didn’t win an Emmy? The ex-presidential cosplayer who wanted to win one more than any individual in the history of soul-moldering reality shows.

President Barack Obama is now halfway to an EGOT (if he gets an Oscar he’ll have an all-caps EGO that he actually earned, unlike Trump). On Saturday night, he won a Best Narrator Emmy for his contribution to Netflix’s Our Great National Parks.  

CBS News:

The five-part show, which features national parks from around the globe, is produced by Barack and Michelle Obama's production company, "Higher Ground."

He was the biggest name in a category full of famous nominees for the award handed out at Saturday night's Creative Arts Emmys, including Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, David Attenborough and Lupita Nyong'o.

Obama previously won Grammy Awards for his audiobook reading of two of his memoirs, "The Audacity of Hope" and "A Promised Land." Michelle Obama won her own Grammy for reading her audiobook in 2020.

Earning an EGOT (the acronym refers to people who win an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony) is a rare achievement only 17 people have attained, including Rita Moreno, Audrey Hepburn, John Legend, Jennifer Hudson, Mike Nichols, and Whoopi Goldberg. That said, Trump is still the only person on the planet to earn a FMMOTYA (fake Michigan Man of the Year Award). 

In July, when Obama was nominated for the Emmy, I noted that Trump would likely lose his mind if Obama won. Well, gird your loins, folks … because Donald Trump isn’t done telling us how overrated Barack Obama is.

From his Saturday rally in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania:

Trump: Obama.. so popular. They say he’s so handsome. He’s such a great speaker. What does he say? He says nothing

Hmm, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say Trump is just a wee bit jealous of Obama, who was (at least) once described as “Our Hottest President Ever.”

Trump will likely never win an Emmy now. Or a Nobel Prize. Or that Purple Heart he so weirdly pines for. But he could still get a participation trophy from his prison bocce ball league. Assuming he doesn’t cheat too much. Which, of course, he will.

But that’s up to him! A panoply of prison awards—made of soft sex toy rubber so he can’t turn them into shivs—will be available to him before long. He just needs to try his hardest … for once.

But enough about Trump: Check out Our National Parks! As Netflix describes it, the “epic five-part series narrated by President Barack Obama … invites viewers to celebrate and discover the power of our planet’s greatest national parks and wild spaces.” 

Seems far more interesting (and legal) than inviting hangers-on to look at top-secret documents in an extremely outdated Palm Beach hotel!

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