Until today, I thought the most absurdly crass thing Donald Trump ever did was cancel his gravely ill nephew’s health insurance out of spite. Or maybe it was mocking a disabled reporter. Or calling a former Miss Universe pageant winner “Miss Piggy.” Or gradually morphing into Mrs. Doubtfire right before our eyes.
Okay, that’s a lot of things. I only meant to list one, but once you get started, it’s hard to stop. It’s sort of like Pringles that way. Or fentanyl lollipops. Or catfishing Chuck Grassley with old movie stills of Hedy Lamarr.
That said, we may have a new winner. It’s possible—and by “possible” I mean “nearly certain”—that the Trump family buried the family matriarch at a golf course in order to reap the tax benefits.
No, seriously. I’m not kidding about this.
So Ivana Trump, Donald Trump’s first wife and the terrestrial birthing vessel for roughly two-thirds of his noxious hell spawn, recently died. She was found unresponsive at the bottom of a flight of stairs—but where she ultimately ended up seems far less dignified: The family buried her at a brand-spanking-new plot near the first hole of the golf course at Trump’s Bedminster, New Jersey, club.
Oh, but that’s not all!
Ivana Trump, former President Donald Trump's ex-wife, is the first person known to have been buried at the Trump-owned golf course.
Under New Jersey state tax code, any land that is dedicated to cemetery purposes is exempt from all taxes, rates, and assessments. Cemetery companies are also specifically exempt from paying any real estate taxes, rates, and assessments or personal property taxes on their lands, as well as business taxes, sales taxes, income taxes, and inheritance taxes.
In the New Jersey Law Revision Commission, a "cemetery company" is defined as "a person, corporation, association or other entity that owns or operates a cemetery, but does not include a religious organization that owns a cemetery which restricts burials to members of that religion or their families unless the organization has obtained a certificate of authority for the cemetery."
Okay, so the Trump family may have gotten tax breaks on their golf property by dumping their ex-wife’s/mother’s body there. But maybe it’s just a coincidence!
I mean, look how beautiful the gravesite is! How could the family possibly pass on this location?
Yeah, for some reason I think it’s more likely they were interested in the tax implications than the bucolic charm and beauty of their cherished mother’s eternal resting place:
But what do I know? Grief makes you do weird things.
I’ve long past given up trying to find the bottom of Donald Trump’s bottomless mug of evil. But somehow, amazingly, he can still surprise me.
Consider me (mildly) shocked.
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