The GOP will henceforth and forevermore be known as “The Vladimir Putin Republican Dance Party.” In the span of a few short decades, our Republicomrades went from “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall” to “I know Vladimir likes me, but does he like like me?”—all because the derpiest derp who ever derped wanted to erect a mammoth phallus in Moscow.
It’s pretty obvious what’s happened here. Vlad got his boy elected in 2016, tried to get him reelected in 2020—and when that failed, he unleashed the flying monkeys, gambling that a divided nation would return Trump or a Trumpy Republican to office in 2024 to lift sanctions, pull the U.S. out of NATO (which Trump indicated he’d do in the second term he was thankfully denied), and declare the spaying and neutering of the free world complete. In the meantime, he no doubt hoped he could peel away one or more of our European partners, further weakening the West.
Projecting strength and resolve while uniting our allies, President Joe Biden has thrown a wrench into those plans. And now Republicans don’t know how to respond, except by dishonestly smearing and undermining our president during one of the more fraught moments in the history of Western civilization.
What the U.S., Europe, and the world’s other liberal democracies need now more than anything is unity. What Republicans are offering up is unpatriotic pabulum—and it all starts with Putin’s pup. Needless to say, the real patriots fighting to preserve democracy here and abroad simply can’t believe what they’re hearing:
On Tuesday, Trump celebrated Putin's aggression against Ukraine as "genius" and "wonderful," lauding Putin as "tough" and patriotic while speaking on the conservative talk radio program The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show.
Video of Trump's former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, calling Putin "very shrewd" and "very capable" during a January Fox News interview, has also recently aired on Russian television.
When asked about Trump's and Pompeo's recent compliments for the Russian president, state department spokesperson Ned Price replied, "I have no response. In fact, I have no words."
Ya, I hear you, Ned Price. It’s astounding. I can’t believe my eyes … are still in my head. Seriously, it’s a wonder I didn’t gouge them out ages ago, sometime between Trump hitting on his daughter and telling us we should really consider injecting disinfectant if we want to live long enough to see him almost die of COVID-19.
Of course, Trump’s gauche celebration of Putin’s butchery is nothing compared to whatever this is supposed to be:
LAUREN WITZKE: “Here’s the deal, also. You know, Russia is a Christian nationalist nation, actually orthodox Christian, Russian Orthodox. So, you know, I actually support Putin’s right to protect his people and always put his people first, but also protect our Christian values. I identify more with Russians’, with Putin’s Christian values than I do with Joe Biden’s. Uh, so, you know, there is that there. And, you know, Christian nationalist countries also are a threat to the global regime, like the Luciferian regime that wants to mash everything together, but Putin takes care of these people, he looks out for his people. I watched as he deported, like they literally walked them through the streets, the criminal illegals who were coming into their country. They walked them out and they escorted them out and they said, ‘Get out.’ You know, I can respect that. I can respect that, and I can respect the fact that Putin does everything he can to protect his people.”
Delaware’s 2020 GOP nominee for U.S. Senate, ladies and gentlemen!
I want to repeat that, because it’s important. A major Republican nominee thinks Putin’s Russia—the same country that just brutally invaded its neighbor—is somehow more Christian than Joe Biden’s America. Hoo-boy, we live in interesting times, don’t we?
Finally, here’s a tasty little digestif to top off this noisome bowl of bonkers. Tommy Tuberville—who, like so many members of the Trump mob during the afternoon of Jan. 6, is pretty sure he’s in the Senate but can’t quite explain why—showed that he’s not simply ignorant of the three branches of government. He also knows bupkis about geopolitics.
.@SenTuberville claims Putin is invading Ukraine because Russia is a communist country that needs more land.
“He can’t feed his people,” said Tuberville. “It’s a communist country, so he can’t feed his people, so they need more farmland.”
I know this jibes with the current conservative fad of calling anything they can’t explain communism, but no. Russia is not a communist country and hasn’t been since 1991. But hey, be happy he didn’t suggest tearing down the Washington Monument to make room for a giant statue of Vladimir Putin teabagging Abraham Lincoln.
Anyway, thanks for showing your true colors, Republicans! Anytime you want to come back to Planet Earth is fine. We’ll give you enough time to replace the American flags on the moon with Russian ones. I mean, it’s the least we can do for our comrades.
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