Oh, my gourd! Really? Rudy Giuliani is going to assess another human being’s probity and mental competence? Rudy Fiddle-Drawers Giuliani? The guy who sounds like a beef tenderloin who mysteriously came to life 20 minutes ago?
That Rudy?
Okay, so Rudes appeared on Steve Bannon’s War Room Thursday to talk about … things. One item on the agenda was President Biden’s denial of a Wall Street Journal report claiming the administration was considering giving victims of Donald Trump’s cruel family-separation policy $450,000 settlements. Whether the report is accurate or not is almost beside the point ... given Giuliani’s absurd reaction to it.
Jesus Sideburns-Dribblin’ Christ, let’s just roll the fucking clip, eh?
BANNON: “Does [Biden] look at you with a straight face and lie, or is that just he’s not in control of his government? Is it door No. 1 or door No. 2?”
GIULIANI: “Well, he’s certainly capable of looking at you with a straight face and lying. We caught him in, what, 100 lies? ‘I never met any Ukrainians’ and we got all those pictures all over the place and text messages, and he was spending more time with Ukrainians than Ukrainians do. He lied about his connections with China. He lied about being involved and not getting any money. So he lies. But here’s the possibilities given the present state of his mental capacities. He could be lying, he could have forgotten, or they may not have told him. Any one of those three things—and you and I don’t know having been in the White House, particularly you, you know White Houses are organized in very different ways. And I have a hard time conceiving of how his White House is organized. Who talks to him? Who gives him information? I think he’s lying. … That’s a pure guess from looking at his face. But he also could be not informed or forgotten—or maybe conveniently forgotten. Who knows with this guy? The simple fact is, this is one of the most dangerous points in our history. We have a mental incompetent sitting next to a button that could destroy the world.”
Where to start?
Okay, so Ghouls thinks he’s caught Biden in 100 lies? Well, he might want to check out the dubious record of his ocher overlord—because 100 lies would constitute a tiny fraction (actually .32%) of Trump’s presidential tally.
And Biden is mentally incompetent? How does Giuliani know this? Is it because Biden never bragged about passing a test that doctors only administer to people they suspect of having dementia? Or is it because Biden never thought of using nukes to divert hurricanes? Or of injecting disinfectant to cure COVID-19?
I mean, shit. I was afraid of Donald Trump sitting next to his fucking Diet Coke button. That shit was evidently seeping through his blood-brain barrier on the reg. His cerebral cortex must have been a Purple Slurpee toward the end there. I’m just relieved he never nuked Rosie O’Donnell’s house. Because you know he wanted to.
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