Please, please, conservatives, I’m begging you: Stop triggering me. I’m just beside myself at this point. In fact, I’ve never been so mortified and humiliated in my life. Please, please, just stop.
Just let me crawl out from under my pillow for a second, because I have a confession to make. When I first heard that conservatives and anti-vaxxers were ingesting tubes of horse de-worming paste to ward off COVID-19 (in lieu of driving down to the Walgreen’s for a free vaccine), my first question was “Wait a minute, I thought that COVID-19 was just a hoax! Nothing but the flu! Why are they ingesting something like this if the whole thing is a hoax?”
That was the liberal in me talking, and I apologize. Really, I’m just an embarrassment to myself at this point.
When I heard about strong, real men (unlike myself) chugging down apple-flavored ivermectin, I was owned. I’m still owned. In fact, I feel like I’ll be owned for the rest of my life if this keeps up. So please, just stop!
On Monday, I read in The New York Times just how badly I’ve been owned by you nasty, mean Republicans.
For the past week, Dr. Gregory Yu, an emergency physician in San Antonio, has received the same daily requests from his patients, some vaccinated for Covid-19 and others unvaccinated: They ask him for ivermectin, a drug typically used to treat parasitic worms that has repeatedly failed in clinical trials to help people infected with the coronavirus. [...]
Prescriptions for ivermectin have seen a sharp rise in recent weeks, jumping to more than 88,000 per week in mid-August from a prepandemic baseline average of 3,600 per week, according to researchers from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Eighty-eight thousand prescriptions a week? Oh, God, that must mean I’ve been owned over and over and over. It’s so demoralizing.
Oh, and the comments on that same article are even worse! Don’t these liberal New York Times readers have any shame?
The news that a bunch of Trump supporters and right wing anti-science conspiracy theorists are falling all over themselves to take de-worming medicine somehow seems quite fitting to me. I only wish it would actually work, but sadly I doubt that they will actually be de-wormed after they’re done taking it.
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I don't know if Ivermectin is helping with covid but yesterday I came in second in the third race at Aqueduct.
***I guess the people taking ivermectin are taking "herd" immunity literally.
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These people call those of us who follow public health guidelines "sheep", and yet they're the ones taking livestock dewormer. Hmm.
***
Perhaps Ivermectin works best if taken with a swig of Lysol or Clorox.
I want you all to know that I’m just in tears right now. I would never dream of writing such a comment.
So again, I’m being completely honest: I’ve never been so owned in my life. In fact, if enough of you you keep eating this stuff, I think you may end up owning all of the liberals in this country.
So whatever you do, please, please don’t do that. Speaking for all liberals, I can tell you we just couldn’t handle the humiliation.
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